There is a part of me that wants to live in a big city not in spite of the fact that I'd be surrounded by people who are strangers to me, but because of it. Something about that specific alienation is appealing to me, in some sort of bizarrely romanticized way. I guess logically I know it would be horrible but part of me likes the idea of being a tiny cog in a huge machine, of being a small fish. Maybe because it would depersonalize me, maybe part of me thinks that would take me away from my problems. Obviously it wouldn't--how is being dehumanized the answer? But I like the idea of being a small part of something much bigger than myself.
I guess I don't so much want to be in a city as I want to be in a specific mythology of The City.
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It's not that different from living in a smaller town, just there's more to do and it's easier to get around. Maybe you also see more of people living differently in more kinds of ways, which might contribute to feeling small, but I'm not sure about dehumanization; I guess it's different for everybody, but I feel like fading into the background gives me more options.
I'd love to live in a big city. You'd get to meet all sorts of people, and you could just like always go to the same little cafe or something if you wanted to see familiar faces. The only thing is, movies like Cloverfield and the Dark Knight make living in a city seem completely terrifying, especially if it's an island - yes I mean you, Manhattan. Seriously, the idea of not being able to escape when a giant monster and/or Heath Ledger in face paint is attacking the city makes me never want to go anywhere with a population of more than 45,000. Oh, and also on that note, happy September 11th!
In case you didn't know, sweetcheeks is just one of my many different names. You know me as Helena. Oh and I love that the little captcha thing you have to fill out to post a comment is called "Word Verification," because last time I checked, bfndacz was not a word.
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